Friday, May 31, 2013

I fear...

Do I sound very proud and pompous when I say that I have the capacity to write like some of the words that people quote? That for me at times it comes as easy as breathing does to all of us? But for all of that to happen, I must be in a certain mind frame. A mind frame that normally is frowned upon and dismissed as being abnormal. I fear the judgement heaped on me for not being capable to live the mundane. For not comprehending the ignorance embedded within some that enables them to accept the mundane without question.

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"It’s a temptation for any intelligent person, and especially for perfectionists such as the ancients..."

“It’s a temptation for any intelligent person, and especially for perfectionists such as the ancients and ourselves, to try to murder the primitive, emotive, appetitive self. But that is a mistake. Because it is dangerous to ignore the existence of the irrational. The more cultivated a person is, the more intelligent, the more repressed, then the more he needs some method of channeling the primitive impulses he’s worked so hard to subdue. Otherwise those powerful old forces will mass and strengthen until they are violent enough to break free, more violent for the delay, often strong enough to sweep the will away entirely.”

- The Secret History, Donna Tartt (via wonderingrocks)

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"I am alone here in my own mind. There is no map and there is no road."

““I am alone here in my own mind.

There is no map

and there is no road.””

- January 24th, Anne Sexton (via wonderingrocks)

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"Unhappy endings are just as important as happy endings. They’re an efficient way of transmitting..."

“Unhappy endings are just as important as happy endings. They’re an efficient way of transmitting vital Darwinian information. Your brain needs them to make maps of the world, maps that let you know what sorts of people and situations to avoid.”

- Generation A, Douglas Coupland (via wonderingrocks)

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Oh I wish to have a room like this. :D

Oh I wish to have a room like this. :D

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Monday, May 27, 2013

"I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of..."

“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I’m more afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.”

- Bob Goff (via wonderingrocks)

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Boiling tears

Little specks of star dust,

Thinking we have the universe within,

Made up of anatomical voids,

None of which can sustain eternally,

Reaching out to others like us,

Too late at times perhaps,

Forgetting that those we hurt,

Are like us, made of flesh and blood,

With broken wings and charred insides,

Accumulated over years of perpetual emotional slaughter,

Just a heap of words and feelings at times boiling in tears!

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Painted your picture black

I painted your picture black

Like darkness covers night

Giving hope of a morning

Bright and new, complete with shining dew

Where the sun passes through

Bringing hope of a future,

Going backwards in times,

When I never knew you

Only thought of a distant star

Far and out of reach

And not the black(w)hole truth!

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nokkasili: 127 Wish I was this good with watercolors!



Wish I was this good with watercolors!

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Zehaal-e-miskeen makun taghaful

One of my favourite Sufi poetry by Amir Khusro. Only found the translation and write up in bits and pieces. Wrote the rest from what I could hear. [Youtube link ]

Zehaal-e-miskeen makun taghaful,
(W)Duraye naina banaye batiyan.
Do not overlook my misery,
by blandishing your eyes and weaving tales,

Ke taab-e-hijran nadaram ay jaan,
Na leho kahe lagaye chatiyan.
My patience has over-brimmed, O sweetheart!
Why do you not take me to your bosom?

Shaban-e-hijran daraz chun zulf,
Wa roz-e-waslat cho umer kotah.
Long like curls in the night of separation
short like life on the day of our union.

Sakhi piya ko jo main na dekhun,
To kaise kaTun andheri ratiyan.
My dear, how will I pass the dark dungeon night
without your face before.

Sham saweray nain bicha kay,
Rah takoon mein sajan ki
Ram hi janay kab chamkay gi
Qismat moray aangan ki
Nain chura kay jub se saiyyan,
Duur kahein pardes gaye,
Birhan ki akhiyon se barsay;
Bin sawan rut sawan ki,
Barkha rut mein, jab cham cham barsay
Manwa roye naina tarsay
Taron mein jub chanda chamkay
Dard uthay man mein tham tham kay
Birha sulgay jub mere tan mein
Chupkay chupkay man aangan mein
Aas kay bandhan toot gaye hein
Balam mujhse rooth gaye hein
Soolhi ooper sayj humari
Kis bidh sona hoye
Gagan mandal par sayj piya ki
Kis bidh milna hoye
Johari ki gad johari janay
Jo koye johari hoye
Ghayal ki gat ghayal janay
Kay jin lagi hoye
Dard ki mari, ban ban doloon
Vaid na milyo koye
Mian ki tabkeer mitay
Jub vaid sanwariya hoye
Hayri mein to prem diwani
Mera dard na janay koye

Yakayak az dil do chashm-e-jadu,
Basad farebam baburd taskin.
Suddenly, using a thousand tricks
the enchanting eyes robbed me of my tranquil mind.

Kisay pari hai jo ja sunave,
(Humaray pi ko) Piyare pi ko hamari batiyan,
Who would care to go and report
this matter to my darling.

Joganiya ka bhes bana kar
Pi ko dhoondan jaon ri
Nagri nagri duwaray duwaray
Pi ki shabd sunaon ri
Tars bhikaran jag mein ho kay
Darshan bichhya paoon ri
Tan man un par maaron sajni
Joganiya kehlaon ri

Cho shama sozan cho zaraa hairan,
Hamesha giryan be ishq an meh.
Tossed and bewildered, like a flickering candle,
I roam about in the fire of love.

Na nind naina na ang chaina,
Na aap aaven na bhejen patiyan,
Sleepless eyes, restless body,
neither comes she, nor any message.

Piya Milan ki aas hai man mein
Nainon mein barsaatein hein
Tanhaye ki chup aangan mein
Meri un se baatein hein
Mohay bankay sajeelay sanwariya
Lilah mujhe ab dars dikha
Bin darsan mar na jaon kahein
Mora jeewan hai toray darsan mein
Tohay yaad karat mora ang ang hai
Mora bhaag suhaag toray sang hai
Ik bar jo aa moray aangan mein
Ho jaon suhagan sakhiyan mein
Mohay chab dikhla moray sanwariya
Tori preet mein ho gaye banwariya
Tohay nagar nagar mein dhoond phiri
Tohay kookat hoon mein ban ban mein
Mohay preet tihari maar gaye
Tum jeet gaye mein haar gaye
Mein haar kay bhi balhar gaye
Aisa prem kasa mera tan man mein

Ke daad mara (farayb) gharib Khusro.
In honour of the day I meet my beloved
Who has lured me so long, O Khusro!

Sapet man ke (d)varaye rakhun,
Jo jaye pauN piya ke khatiyan.
I shall keep my heart suppressed
if ever I get a chance to get to her trick.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

wonderingrocks: The Other Side Of The Story, Marian Keyes


The Other Side Of The Story, Marian Keyes

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Friday, May 24, 2013

You lack honesty

If you think an independent woman, who refuses to ‘deal with your shit’ and tells it to your face is ‘ill mannered’, at least be honest enough to admit being a misogynist. Stop fooling yourself and others. Misogyny among desi men is so common, that they even refuse to acknowledge its a problem. For them, it is always a trait in the ‘other’ guys.

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Sounds of the Incomplete: Minor Fall

Sounds of the Incomplete: Minor Fall:


What was it that he said that made you so enthralled? I must know so that I may have a better understanding of what it was that made you feel. Tell me a phrase, or even just a word; this is killing me.

I remember when you sang for me, and it was like nothing I have ever heard. I replay it in my…

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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Misty and the strays! :)

Misty and the strays! :)

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Sunday, May 19, 2013

magicalnaturetour: A young bat and his mother in flight in...


A young bat and his mother in flight in Pardes Hanna-Karkur, Israel. (© Gilad Guy/National Geographic Traveler Photo Contest)

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theanimalblog: Untitled. Photo by Bernie Lampert


Untitled. Photo by Bernie Lampert

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theanimalblog: Curiosity is the Compass. Photo by...


Curiosity is the Compass. Photo by Sumatra-Tiger

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"While gazing at myself from yourself, I was beautiful."

“While gazing at myself from yourself, I was beautiful.”

- Dejan Stojanovic, The Shape (via petrichour)

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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Misty up to her tricks! :)

Misty up to her tricks! :)

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An expression so bold,

It leaves us reeling with pain,

ut for those who were strong,

It is the ultimate reality,

Expression of expressions,

Culmination of their suppressed desire,

Let them go, be happy,

For this is what is the driving force!

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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I think she has tamed me

It was then that the fox appeared.

“Good morning,” said the fox.

“Good morning,” the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

“I am right here,” the voice said, “under the apple tree.”

“Who are you?” asked the little prince, and added, “You are very pretty to look at.”

“I am a fox,” the fox said.

“Come and play with me,” proposed the little prince. “I am so unhappy.”

“I cannot play with you,” the fox said. “I am not tamed.”

“Ah! Please excuse me,” said the little prince.

But, after some thought, he added:

“What does that mean—‘tame’?”

“You do not live here,” said the fox. “What is it that you are looking for?”

“I am looking for men,” said the little prince. “What does that mean—‘tame’?”

“Men,” said the fox. “They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?”

“No,” said the little prince. “I am looking for friends. What does that mean—‘tame’?”

“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. It means to establish ties.”

“‘To establish ties’?”

“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world …”

“I am beginning to understand,” said the little prince. “There is a flower … I think that she has tamed me …”

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theanimalblog: Drinking lynx (by Tambako the Jaguar)


Drinking lynx (by Tambako the Jaguar)

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Monday, May 13, 2013

Taliban are the bogeyman!

Blaming everything on the Taliban is very easy, but I don't agree with this discourse. You cannot blame the thuggery of MQM or the 200 percent food inflation during PPP rule on the Taliban. If you can question the dumbfuckery of PTI burgers, who are at least struggling to make sense of the hotchpotch we live in, I too, can blame you for being a jiyala or saathi.

I can point fingers at you for wanting to maintain the status quo by voting for a predominantly feudal party that fooled the masses in the 70s with the ‘Roti, Kapra, Makan’ slogan. It was the political party responsible for kick-starting Islamism in the name of Islamic Socialism, initiating the nuclear program and declaring the Ahmedis as Non-Muslim.

I am glad that Karachiwalas are standing up against the thuggery of MQM. So what if it is the burger PTI walas? You may want to criticize this while sitting in your Dad's air-conditioned house in Lahore or Islamabad, but it only sounds like the cowardice and treachery of a person who has no guts to stand up for any principles, not even one’self.

Free ‘for all to rig’ elections

KARACHI: Despite that the offices of DRO (central) and his subordinates were established at the Government Comprehensive Girls High School in North Nazimabad, Block M, one of Daily Times staffers was manhandled by a lady polling officer when she refused to let the officer cast vote to Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) on her behalf. The polling station is a part of NA-245 and PS-101 constituencies comprising Buffer Zone, Shadman, North Karachi and parts of Nazimabad, which falls in District Central and is a (MQM) stronghold. In 2008 General Elections, MQM's Farhat Muhammad Khan won the constituency by a huge majority of 149,157 votes against PPP's Qazi Muhammad Bashir with a mere 15,392 votes, PML-N's M Aslam Khan Khattak 3,275 and Jumma Khan Babar of ANP with 301 votes respectively. It is worth mentioning that in 2002 another MQM contestant Kanwer Khalid Younus had won the constituency with 51,696 votes compared to 41,947 votes bagged by Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal's Syed Munawwar Hassan. Several voters at the Government Comprehensive Girls High School polling station complained that the staff stamped on 'kite' for them. On complaint, nobody was around to help or rectify the problem. Polling staff aka MQM workers were busy stamping ballot papers one after another for people, some of whom were present on the occasion, while others had only sent their CNIC cards issued by NADRA. The biometric system, which had earlier been promised by the Election Commission of Pakistan, was missing. When one of the voters (Andaleeb Rizvi) protested against the stamping of ballot papers, she was asked, "Was she not Urdu speaking? Why would she want to vote somebody else?" by a man sitting with a government cap. The voter than took away the paper and went outside to get help, however one of the lady staffers followed her and a struggle ensued in which she snatched the ballot paper back screaming, "You are not allowed to take ballot papers outside." On being asked to guide to someone with more authority, the RO asked to cast vote again. Even the police guard just turned his eyes away from the whole scene, while many bystanders just kept looking and smiling. Some other women voters also started to complain about the 'stamping mafia' by that time, and in order to defuse the situation, all the polling staff in the booth started facilitating the voter who complained to re-cast her vote. On re-casting the vote, the lady at the ballot box opened the ballot paper to check who was voted. At this point the voter again protesting and asked the lady to not violate her rights, however the lady only responded by stating, 'get lost' (chal chal in Urdu). Meanwhile, one of the guys ordered the ladies to start winding up, as the desired number had been achieved. He also asked the said voter in a threatening manner if she had cast the vote to the desired party.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Voting fever rising by the day

Since the voting fever is reaching its crescendo in Pakistan, and twitter, facebook are abuzz with many wannabe social scientists and analysts or even prophets, informing of the 'awesomeness' of voting, 'voting rights' and the possible bright future. I will write down a few of the conversations I had with random people on the road.

Sohail Khan is a taxi driver. Originally from Charsadda and now a resident of Banaras in Karachi. Former Jiyala, who calls Zardari a dog (like a lot of other people) and considers him the murderer of Bibi - supports Jamaat-i-Islami now. Who in his own words are lousy politicians, with nothing to offer as a political party except 'chutyapa', his words, not mine.

Q: Aap kisko vote dengay is dafa? (Who will you vote for this time?)
Sohail: Ye awam chutya hai, phir unhi logon ko vote day kar lay aayegi, jinhon nay mulk ko kha kha kar iska ye haal bana diya hai. (The public is stupid, and will again vote for the same people who have brought the country to this stage with their corruption). Mein kisi ko vote nahi donga. (I will not vote for anybody). Ghar ko tala lagaonga andar se, or araam karoonga. (I will lock my home and relax).

Q: Leken aap to JI ko support kartay hein ab, unko vote nahi dalengay? (But you support JI now, you will not vote for them?)
Sohail: Nahi, bekar log hein. Jub tak Bhutto zinda tha, Benazir tha, hum vote dalta tha, ab to koye nahi bacha. (No. Everyone is useless. Till Bhutto was alive, his daughter was alive, I used to vote, now there is nobody worthy enough).

We laugh together and enjoy the rest of the ride while talking about different topics, especially the law and order situation - speculating about bomb blasts and target killings. Sohail is a Pakhtun and faces racism in this city every other day. Being a Pakhtun can automatically at times translate to being a supporter of the Taliban and their likes. Another taxi driver cum marble cutter, Zahir Khan said that he has to at times allow police to 'random check' him. Zahir is from a village in Shangla. He lives in Nusrat Bhutto Colony, Karachi, that is famous for being a Taliban infested area and therefore, has to go through police and Rangers' operations every other day.

In Zahir's opinion the only solution to all this trouble is dictatorship. Although, he swings between supporting the Awami National Party and Army rule, he considers Ziaul Haq's era as something that was better for his class.

Q: Aap vote kisko dengay? (Who will you vote for?)
Zahir: Mushkil hai vote karna. Halaat bohat kharab hein. (It's difficult to vote. City situation is very bad).

The conversation goes into a discussion about how the military operation in KPK made some differences for his relatives. How the feuds died down a little, because Army regulated the ownership of weapons. The most enthusiastic about voting thus far, judging from different discussions, seem to be the youngsters who will be voting for the first time.

A student at Karachi University said that he will vote, since it is his right, and without participating in the election he cannot pin the blame on anybody. However, he was honest enough to admit that all he knows about democracy 'working out in the long run' is theoretical. So for him, as long as the country gets on a track for betterment, he does not care whether it is a democracy or a dictatorship.

In all this rhetoric, a resident of Thatta had a very simple statement to make.

"I will vote who my landlord asks me to vote for."

This perhaps is the culmination of the 'democratic process' in Pakistan. Where rural areas comprise a majority. Pakistan has a total population of 180 million, out of which around 60 percent live in rural areas as per a World Bank report. The voter from Thatta is not the only one to be saying this, a majority of the rural population vote either the landlord they work for, or for someone the local feudal seeks to gain from.

This leaves one to ponder the differences between a democracy of choice, and a democracy per say. One might even feel better if it ended here. But it does not. If weening votes from helpless peasants was not enough, the number of portfolios and ministries that our 'democratic' regimes boast add insult to injury.

To accommodate the left over senior leaders and ex-legislators, several posts are created to appease their hurt sentiments and egos. Following is a very basic breakup of the number of seats we have, despite being a smaller country compared to United States and India.

Oh and lest we forget. The interim setup that we have numbly accepted is not much different either. The power (to maintain the status quo) is now being shared between the feudal families, and their homies. Be them the Sethis, the Mandviwalas or the Shahs.

Capitalist Democracy: From weapons to Barbie Dolls

I have been asked the umpteenth time who will I vote for. Here's my answer for you, and now read it carefully, before annoying me again with your silly impertinent questions. I will not vote, because I do not dote on people who are 'relatively' less corrupt, less religious, less autocratic, less liberal and more secular.

Here I'll jot it down in bullet points, so it is more convenient for your perusal.

RELATIVELY: less corrupt
RELATIVELY: less religious
RELATIVELY: less autocratic
RELATIVELY: more secular

I will not vote some moron who can afford to campaign for the election because s/he has the money, his/her father earned being a corrupt government officer. Or who is a feudal. Or, who is friends with some pharma company owner, or some other businessman that cannot afford to run for election due to other engagements, but is willing to 'finance' someone for securing future legislation.

I do not find this scam of a 'democracy' you talk of worthy to vote. It has yet not convinced me. For the biggest 'democracy' I know, has so far funded militants across the globe, toppled elected governments to put in place dictators, and made life generally hell for anybody who had less money to buy what is being sold.

From weapons to Barbie Dolls, capitalist democracy that you term as an 'evolutionary process' for change, is nothing but a blueprint for disaster. In this system your human rights end where the capitalist profits are getting affected.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Male privilege: Emotional terrorism

You might be doing something on the ground to make things better for the people and I do things while looking up my theoretical ass on social media. Do not criticize me, for I cringe when you say my theoretical understanding means nothing. It is what defines my existence, if theory flies out the window, I have no choice but to follow suit. But I must confess, my laziness makes it impossible for me to do the practical necessity as well as jumping out the window after theory. So please, have mercy!

A hypothetical dialogue. Especially for men who refuse to accept that there are certain aspects within feminism that are essentially a woman's domain. These men refuse to accept that a woman can actually have the brains to dismiss the popular narratives, be it the 'Muslimah Pride' crowd or the 'FEMEN' crowd. Just because FEMEN for 'him' is the opposite narrative to what is defined as the 'Muslim', he becomes not only offensive, but also starts derailing by resorting to straw man and obfuscation.

To the men, who have left religion behind, but have still not gotten rid of the cultural baggage... Wake up! Women have agency and within their human capacity can in fact make decisions and enact them on the world. They can have an opinion which is beyond your comprehension, and if you do not have the brains to comprehend, it does not translate to 'her' being the moral police.

However, there is something humorous too in all this. Check out his closing line: 
So what is the right method of protesting if I want to protest against the very moral status quo and the global moral police that is trying to control all my social and sexual freedoms?
Asks the man!

A rare case of Lima Syndrome?

When a man turns up and tells a woman that she's acting like the moral police by disagreeing with FEMEN's mode of protest. And that she, along with the 'global' moral police is trying to control 'his' social and sexual freedoms. My dear, that's a bit too brown, says Lolita.

Let's conclude with:
“A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women [and girls] and presents it as the norm”
(Buchwald, Fletcher, and Roth 2005, XI)
My blog post on FEMEN and Muslimah Pride that made me a part of the global moral police against a poor oppressed man: