Sacred flight

Stop time if you can
Live in eternity
For no clock will ever give you that,
It’s too long to wait
Dismal too,
Through agony,
Continue
In sleepless bliss of night
Turning into light,
Catching sunrays on windowpanes
Burning bright
As pigeons knock
Make you rise
To grim realities
Soaked dreams
Placid crumbs of self,
That delights in sacred flight!

Stigma: A major barrier to Suicide Prevention

Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. And I feel weird to know that an online friend of mine felt so dejected and hopeless that he took his own life. He was depressed and could not see any point in continuing. He posted many times about his abusive father, and this week, after being physically assaulted, called police on him. However, that was not fruitful either. I do not know what transpired between the police and him. All I know is that he wasn't helped when he needed.

I never met him in real, only interacted online. According to him, his therapist had not called him for weeks. So, he mostly relied on friends. For, expecting support from his family was useless. It is not only sad, but cruel on so many levels.

May he rest in peace now. Away from the cycle of abuse, helplessness and dejection. Away from doctors like Shazia Nawaz, who cannot stop abusing someone with mental health problems. I wonder what kind of a doctor would say this on the Facebook wall of a person, who died only a few hours ago?

How many doctors are out there who tell their patients they are just pretending? And how many doctors tell their patients that they need to live for 'abusive parents'. I quote Dr Shazia Nawaz here: "World does not remember USELESS DEPRESSED people." World can do well without doctors like you Shazia Nawaz, I hope her license gets canceled.

If you thought that was moronic, please see our enlightened doctor comparing suicide with murder. Basically as per the 'doctor' a person who kills someone else and a person who kills 'self' is the same.

There are many reasons people with suicide ideation do not get timely help. Including doctors like Shazia Nawaz and others who say shit like 'attention seeker', 'weak', 'drama queen', etc. Criminalization of suicide is not much help either.

International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) and WHO cosponsored World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10. The theme was “Stigma: A Major Barrier for Suicide Prevention.” Nearly a million people die of suicides a year. The figures do not include the number of 'attempts' people make to commit suicide.

I feel awful and weird. He posted his picture with a rope, before he hung himself. Perhaps the final cry of a helpless being, stuck in limbo.


Note: The name has not been mentioned, so people like Shazia do not abuse him further.

Rabid Misogynist Syndrome in 'rational' men?

The world is filled with men suffering from rabid misogyny. Their view about women works in a binary. "The woman I approached and spoke to me easily is a slut, and the one who shunned me is a bitch." Either way, they love indulging in slut shaming. The height of misogyny being mainstream can be gauged from the fact that even men, who want to be identified as feminists end up showing symptoms of advanced "Rabid Misogyny Syndrome".

They repeatedly call a woman, who 'dares' to counter their bullshit a bitch. Oh, and if the bitch dares to point that they are being stereotypical, she deserves some more 'bitching'. So, one might think, wow that is so original and this guy is a lovely feminist I would never want to trust in handling "women's issues". Unless, of course one was a doormat or suffering from "mother hen syndrome". Thinking that talking 'nice' to an angry young man would not only help appease my 'motherly instincts', but also keep me as their leader.

Here's an example from the perpetual Rabid Misogynists (profile 1, 2 and 3) from a group called Rationalist Society of Pakistan (ironic, I know) who my friend Mariam loves to call a rabid dog.

In case you did not have enough of the intellectualism of this brilliant man, try reading the remaining thread filled with more rationalism, interspersed with 'bitch' as the best epithet another 'enlightened man' could come up with.

More fun here:

Oh, and not to forget he runs a page and magazine too called Rationalist Society of Pakistan. I wonder why all these narcissist men, wanting to be leaders of some sort want to identify themselves as some liberal, feminists, leftist brilliants who the 'women of Pakistan' had the good fortune to interact with. Worse are the admins and people associated with this RSOP group, who do not take a stand against such behavior. No disciplinary action is taken against these men, and the best thing they do is, send private apologies. Here's the last apology sent by RSOP founder Haider Shah on June 18, 2013, after a shitstorm created by the same misogynist man Waqas Goraya.

PS A later update, where the intelligent man decided to gift, all the women who countered his bullshit, some pads. Apparently, women who had the guts to counter this pseudo-intelligent excuse of a man, are PMSing. More misogynist bull crap by Rationalist Society of Pakistan admin.

The mushrooming of these countless rationalist, humanist, secularist societies on the Pakistani interwebs is nothing more than a gimmick to gain international attention. They use feminism as a mere 'selling point'.


NOTE: To read the screenshots, please click on the image.

Setbacks in teaching history

In a deeply religious society, where students want to find answers for everything in religion, threats include being labeled a blasphemer. One of my students today asked for evidence of god. Especially after understanding the beginning of religion and links to agriculture, destructive forces of nature and the ultimate belief in a monotheistic god.

As a teacher in University of Karachi, its difficult to state openly, that belief, has no links to logic, evidence and reason. I received a threat last semester to not speak about religion at all or I will be responsible for consequences. The problem is, should I ignore valid questions by students? Should I discourage students from questioning, and tell them to merely accept everything? Would that not be dishonest? I think it would not only be dishonest of me to do so, but also stunt the mental growth of young minds eagerly searching for answers.

It would be very easy to merely give a lecture and ask students to learn it by heart. Something that our education system is well known for. Perhaps, if religion, any religion was based in facts and evidence, the religious people would not feel so threatened by a questioning mind. For a student, who grew up on anti-polytheist propaganda, polytheism comes with a backup of reasoning for belief, including the importance of the Sun and water in an agricultural society, and the moon in desert-nomadic societies. In this case, the burden of proof becomes far greater on monotheistic religions. Unfortunately, the monotheistic god is beyond the five sensory perceptions and seems to have no refuge, but one in the human psychology, incapable of understanding that existence is for no reason and with no purpose.

Whereas, worshiping the sun makes sense for a person growing crops in Mesopotamia, because without the sunlight, crops will not grow. Revering the moon in the desert is understandable, as it helps illuminate the sand dunes, and the trader does not get lost. Fearing the mighty River is logical because it can destroy villages and crops in seconds. But what does an unseen, unheard, untasted, unsmelt and untouched god do?

These things cannot be said out loud really, but can only be hinted at by stating and repeating that keeping evidence and belief separate is the best available option; belief is blind; that we never found 40-yard tall human skeletons; or that early humans had low life expectancy because of predators, health concerns, etc, etc.  Noah's age is not the only problem here. The floods were raging with safety issues, for Noah, allegedly 900 years old as per Islamic mythology has a lot in common with Utnapishtim from the Epic of Gilgamesh and Manu of the Puranas. That mythology is a word kept by Muslims for other religions, as theirs is 'undoubtedly the divine' one.

It is a dangerous world out there, I told my students, as the class broke into a cacophony of questions.

PS Architecturally speaking, we have far more temples, palaces and forts to study compared to the common man's house. Just like in earthquakes and floods, the rich man's haveli and the mullah's mosque survive. Not because of divine intervention but because of better materials. 

Islamabad Political guy intellect-chawal at his best!

Apparently male journalists are threatened so much by women journalists calling out their bullshit online, that they cannot help but send threatening messages on Facebook. Here's an example of a threat received from Moazzam Raza Tabassam for calling him out on my friend Zeeba's post about the treatment meted out to women in IDP camps. This guy is supposedly an editor of Islamabad Political as per his Facebook page. 

The reason Zeeba and I deserve this attention is because we refused to be 'diplomatic women' who live in the Pakistani 'intellectual society', and we dare to ask some 'male chauvinists' what they mean when they are being 'intellect-chawals' (A brilliant term coined by another friend of mine Mariam).

Here's the brilliance of our 'dear experienced journalist Moazzam' again:

Just in case this screen-capture was not enough for the delight of your mental-senses. Do read the rest of the thread for some more brilliant chawalness here. Unfortunately, Zeeba deleted his attack on my Shia background to protect me from feeling hurt and offended. But I managed to get that information too.

I suppose men just cannot tolerate women having brains, because they are conditioned into accepting women only as showpieces. The moment women break that stereotype of being only good to look at, their male privilege is under threat and they have to prove their maleness by hook or by crook. 

Cycle of Domestic Violence never stops!

This week was not depressive when it started, but one after another SOS call from women or their relatives about domestic abuse, physical violence and battery are getting to me now. The first one was from interior Sindh. Although the lady is safe now, she faced not only perpetual threat of rape from her father-in-law, but constant abuse and pressure from her in-laws to give in to their illegal demands.

She was emotionally, physically and financially used by not only her husband but in-laws as well. Moreover, despite having relatives in the Sindh Police Department, the woman was not helped because the policemen in her family fear their own daughters will be targeted and threatened. This is not the first such case, countless cases of abuse and violence are scattered across the globe, where women are at times left to fend for themselves. Which brings me to the next message I received from someone who I used to consider a friend until this particular incident.

A lady in Jeddah was not only being abused, but also being held hostage in the bathroom by her husband.

The person who sent me the message asked if I could give any resources that the lady can use to find help. Since it was an SOS call, I asked my friend Ayesha Sultana, who gave the following information:

The number was forwarded to the guy, who was the only person the victim called for help.

The guy reported that the victim is too paralyzed with fear to even call police. Therefore it was suggested that he can give the victim's number so people from the helpline can contact her themselves and do the necessary. However, the guy refused to do so, stating it is a family matter, and needs to be handled differently. 

Another reason he gave for not giving the victim's number, who was too traumatized to call police or the domestic abuse helpline herself was that the husband is the sole breadwinner of old parents.

Earlier, I had not thought of blogging this exchange. But I think I was wrong. People who protect or help abusers in anyway need to be exposed and publicly held accountable for not doing what is right. We do not know how the lady in Jeddah is, if she received any help or is still being held hostage by her abusive husband. As for the last exchange I had with Ali Zaidi, it went as follows:

It seems violence against women will not stop any time soon. Today, I received another message from a distraught brother, whose sister is being abused physically and verbally in Bahrain. The husbands in all three cases are highly qualified individuals, who are pursuing successful careers in engineering and finance.

Empowering all is less power for privileged

Do you feel annoyed with this poster children, men, women trend? Creating cults around personalities? I think its a manifestation of consumerist culture, where everything is to be commodified to sell.

Someone at work asked me if Malala made her speech in English. I said yes... and they said, "Phir to pakki agent hai (It means she's definitely a foreign agent)." Followed by, "Khud salay kitnay maartay hein, isko kyon charha rahai hein? (The assholes murder so many every day, why are they turning her into a star)"

*Sigh*

Why are things so complicated? I don't see right in most of the things, and the whole idea of being 'used' is fucked. But does Malala send drones? Does she kill or threaten innocent children or adults? Is she blowing up girls or boys schools? The answer to all of these questions is... NO, she did not do any of those, the Taliban did. Was she attacked? Yes. Would she have survived if not taken outside Pakistan? No, at least probably not.

You can have a problem with the politics of the situation. The involvement of Pakistan Army, that is responsible for a lot of problems we currently face due to their farce of 'strategic depth'. But saying that a minor, aged 16 is part of some huge global conspiracy, plot and is an agent is doing it a bit too brown sire.

On the other hand, the basic premise that these Brits or Americans or NATO give two hoots about all this except creating more drama in our lives is what gets to me too. We already have enough shit to deal with. I dislike, actually hate the postcolonial sense of selective tribal morality. None of which is a comment on the kid herself. But people who use her, who have dismissed deaths of non-whites, those who actually fostered extremism for their bloody imperialist agendas. And idiots who bought, buy and will continue to buy these bullshit cries of Western humanitarianism conducted in the name of a Mafioso like agency, United Nations.
Which is perhaps what makes me crazy. I cannot find it in me to be loyal to a lesser evil. And neither can I find it in me to not condemn people who condone this loyalty to the lesser evil. If you want to support lesser evils, better to cherry pick the 'goods' from 'everyone'. Difficult, but less twisted morally. And 'non-tribal' as well.

The same happened during Mukhtaran Mai's case. In the absence of important statistics, and the biggest human rights organisational scam in Pakistan, Human Rights Commission of Pakistan (HRCP), there is no authentic data to give us an idea of what actually happens on the ground. HRCP makes stats using news clippings, and being associated with the media, I know how much of the news is censored and/or unreported/under-reported even. In reality, we do not know what creating poster personalities actually does on the ground. Except that some rich 'aunty' in some DHA is able to generate a lot of funds for her NGO. Oh, and one must remember, there are above 30,000 registered NGOs in Sindh. Remember terms like 'agenda', 'aid', 'donors'. It is all linked, and agendas keep changing, depending what the political requirements are of those who change the geography of the world every few decades.

Grassroots are not empowered, and it is systemic, since we have a hierarchical system, where empowerment for any segment of the society means less power for the privileged.