Suicide cowardice?

Some people say life is such, when they get to know about the troubles one has been through. Some people, show you that they are very concerned and care about you a lot. Than comes a point in your life when you really start believing in what they say. I don’t know if it is because they should be believed, or it is because at that point in life we just need to believe in someone. But we do believe. No matter what. It is only later that we find out the reality, that they are perhaps uglier than the previous reality.

At times, we can get up and start going ahead again, but at times we feel we cannot. This is when we decide to take our own life. People say it is the most cowardly thing to do, as in committing suicide is a cowards way. I do not agree with it, it is one of the most difficult decisions of your life. Not because it is about death, but because it is about the unknown. Also because you do not know what actually will happen after wards?

I am an atheist, so I do not believe in an afterlife. What I fear is related to the ones I would leave behind, people, who would mourn me when I am dead. The only thing that has been holding me so far from not doing what I crave to do is that fear of not knowing what will happen to them. I am a coward in love. But I plan to change that soon. I plan to take things in my own hands, including when I decide to stop living. How can that be cowardice?