Taliban are the bogeyman!

Blaming everything on the Taliban is very easy, but I don't agree with this discourse. You cannot blame the thuggery of MQM or the 200 percent food inflation during PPP rule on the Taliban. If you can question the dumbfuckery of PTI burgers, who are at least struggling to make sense of the hotchpotch we live in, I too, can blame you for being a jiyala or saathi.

I can point fingers at you for wanting to maintain the status quo by voting for a predominantly feudal party that fooled the masses in the 70s with the ‘Roti, Kapra, Makan’ slogan. It was the political party responsible for kick-starting Islamism in the name of Islamic Socialism, initiating the nuclear program and declaring the Ahmedis as Non-Muslim.

I am glad that Karachiwalas are standing up against the thuggery of MQM. So what if it is the burger PTI walas? You may want to criticize this while sitting in your Dad's air-conditioned house in Lahore or Islamabad, but it only sounds like the cowardice and treachery of a person who has no guts to stand up for any principles, not even one’self.

Free ‘for all to rig’ elections

KARACHI: Despite that the offices of DRO (central) and his subordinates were established at the Government Comprehensive Girls High School in North Nazimabad, Block M, one of Daily Times staffers was manhandled by a lady polling officer when she refused to let the officer cast vote to Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) on her behalf. The polling station is a part of NA-245 and PS-101 constituencies comprising Buffer Zone, Shadman, North Karachi and parts of Nazimabad, which falls in District Central and is a (MQM) stronghold. In 2008 General Elections, MQM's Farhat Muhammad Khan won the constituency by a huge majority of 149,157 votes against PPP's Qazi Muhammad Bashir with a mere 15,392 votes, PML-N's M Aslam Khan Khattak 3,275 and Jumma Khan Babar of ANP with 301 votes respectively. It is worth mentioning that in 2002 another MQM contestant Kanwer Khalid Younus had won the constituency with 51,696 votes compared to 41,947 votes bagged by Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal's Syed Munawwar Hassan. Several voters at the Government Comprehensive Girls High School polling station complained that the staff stamped on 'kite' for them. On complaint, nobody was around to help or rectify the problem. Polling staff aka MQM workers were busy stamping ballot papers one after another for people, some of whom were present on the occasion, while others had only sent their CNIC cards issued by NADRA. The biometric system, which had earlier been promised by the Election Commission of Pakistan, was missing. When one of the voters (Andaleeb Rizvi) protested against the stamping of ballot papers, she was asked, "Was she not Urdu speaking? Why would she want to vote somebody else?" by a man sitting with a government cap. The voter than took away the paper and went outside to get help, however one of the lady staffers followed her and a struggle ensued in which she snatched the ballot paper back screaming, "You are not allowed to take ballot papers outside." On being asked to guide to someone with more authority, the RO asked to cast vote again. Even the police guard just turned his eyes away from the whole scene, while many bystanders just kept looking and smiling. Some other women voters also started to complain about the 'stamping mafia' by that time, and in order to defuse the situation, all the polling staff in the booth started facilitating the voter who complained to re-cast her vote. On re-casting the vote, the lady at the ballot box opened the ballot paper to check who was voted. At this point the voter again protesting and asked the lady to not violate her rights, however the lady only responded by stating, 'get lost' (chal chal in Urdu). Meanwhile, one of the guys ordered the ladies to start winding up, as the desired number had been achieved. He also asked the said voter in a threatening manner if she had cast the vote to the desired party.

Published in Daily Times on May 12, 2013: http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=2013\05\12\story_12-5-2013_pg12_7

Capitalist Democracy: From weapons to Barbie Dolls

I have been asked the umpteenth time who will I vote for. Here's my answer for you, and now read it carefully, before annoying me again with your silly impertinent questions. I will not vote, because I do not dote on people who are 'relatively' less corrupt, less religious, less autocratic, less liberal and more secular.

Here I'll jot it down in bullet points, so it is more convenient for your perusal.

RELATIVELY: less corrupt

RELATIVELY: less religious

RELATIVELY: less autocratic

RELATIVELY: more secular

I will not vote some moron who can afford to campaign for the election because s/he has the money, his/her father earned being a corrupt government officer. Or who is a feudal. Or, who is friends with some pharma company owner, or some other businessman that cannot afford to run for election due to other engagements, but is willing to 'finance' someone for securing future legislation.

I do not find this scam of a 'democracy' you talk of worthy to vote. It has yet not convinced me. For the biggest 'democracy' I know, has so far funded militants across the globe, toppled elected governments to put in place dictators, and made life generally hell for anybody who had less money to buy what is being sold.

From weapons to Barbie Dolls, capitalist democracy that you term as an 'evolutionary process' for change, is nothing but a blueprint for disaster. In this system your human rights end where the capitalist profits are getting affected.

Bhai is the Army’s ‘Burqa’

Until today I thought only Disney and Warner Brothers were capable of subliminal messages, hidden in the frames of their cartoons and animations. But a real human-like (not CGI) cartoon actually took the cup when he had the guts to show up on electronic media and sing a song for the Army. “Burqay may rehnay do, burqa na uthao,” Bhai has in the past given epic performances, providing plenty to talk about. This time though, he even out did himself. This was as subliminal as it can get in the Pakistani narrative.

There are actually several great things about this whole charade. Let’s start with some here, and whoever chances to read my blog, can add more in the comments section.

1- Bhai kept the private channels from showing squabbles between different political parties while providing ‘quality’ entertainment to all and sundry.

2- He indulged in a sit-down comedy while his party offices acquired by goons, my bad, volunteers and activists all over Karachi were being raided by Rangers.

3- He threatened the Army to take off the ‘veil’ if his butt isn’t saved from the British police.

4- Diverted the public enough to make the Army look like the harmless savior it claims to be.

5- And last but not the least he along with his Rabita Committee gave a go ahead, and sealed the fate of their unwanted and not-so-useful-anymore members.

Yesterdays shenanigans are a proof that the magic hat is still with the Army and it can pull out as many rabbits as it wants. So let’s hail ‘Bhai’ as the savior for the minorities, Ahmedis, poor serfs and last but not the least, the Pakistan Army.

Using the Godfather way

People often question why the Muttahidda Qaumi Movement (MQM) has so much support in Karachi and not other parties. (And I'm not a supporter of any party - a disclaimer was necessary here) MQM was not always there, rather it was the mullah party and the feudal party who had Karachi in their clutches after the capital was shifted to Islamabad. The city was divided between the Pakistan People's Party (PPP) and the Jamaat-e-Islami (JI) with some smaller parties until 1987 when MQM swept Karachi and Hyderabad in the local body elections. However, it did not happen overnight or because the Urdu speaking suddenly wanted to support MQM for its linguistic and ethnic origins.

There is a documentary about the Medici made by PBS. It describes how from being mere bankers the Medici gained support from the people. By doing favors. Or I guess it can even be called the Godfather way. They did favors for people regardless of their social standing and in return gained their loyalty.

This is what the MQM does in Karachi. They do things like getting the electricity bill fixed for Muhammad Liaquat, which was screwed by the KESC; or one of the sector boys takes care of the weekly grocery shopping of a few women in the 'mohalla'; and some goon beats up the guy who teased Farrukh's sister on the street. These things enabled the MQM to get more and more support from the public. Another reason they get more support is that they do not have feudal lords in the upper echelons of the party. Rather they have doctors, engineers etc.

To increase their support, finances and vote bank, the ANP desperately needs more land in Karachi. Why the ANP needs land? That is the only way they will be able to generate more funds and more votes for themselves to stay around, following the MQM lead on getting to the public directly. I remember my Pakhtun taxi driver who always said that although he is not in ANP directly, if anybody in his 'abadi' has a problem, they go to the local sector to get it fixed. Hence the land mafia of any particular party is a goodwill and recruiting office. Less land for any party means, less funds and less voters. The tragedy for ANP is, it came to Karachi at a point when most land is already occupied or built.

PPP on the other hand screwed up its vote bank, which was mostly in Lyari and the suburbs of Karachi. They failed the people by not doing enough and are now fighting tooth and nail to get it back. In all this mayhem, the only people silently going about their business, and getting more support, are the bloody mullahs. One gets to see an increasing number of zombies in black abayas and more and more men with pants above their ankles in Karachi.

If only the sparring parties would take this as a hint and stop indulging in the urban warfare, Karachi may still have hope.

Katchi Abadi regularisation short term solution

Karachi being the biggest city of Pakistan currently has around 18 million residents as per unofficial statistics and still increasing as there is no check on the number of immigrants each year. From 6 million immigrants who came to Pakistan in 1947, 2 million Afghan refugees, illegal Bangladeshis and Biharis who came after the fall of Dhaka and millions of local immigrants from rural or less developed areas, the city is suffering from a severe shortage of proper or legal housing facilities, and around 50% dwell in slums or squatter settlements.

Distinguishing between the types of katchi abadies would be important here, as there is not just a single type. These abadies can broadly be divided into two categories; the old totally unplanned abadies that were established at the time of the Indo-Pak partition and the ones that came into existence because land-grabbers mobilised and provided houses to the constantly rising number of immigrants, especially with a boom in the Industries. After partition the government was not equipped to deal with the immigrants and hence and therefore people on self help basis provided themselves with whatever they could muster. However, instead addressing the issue, the government continued to neglect this sector and also neither checked the rapid rural to urban migration nor provided enough housing facilities. Thus, government negligence towards this factor, combined with the land-grabbers has not helped much, as land-grabbers taking advantage continuously kept on the move, grabbing more and more government land turning it to slums/katchi abadies.

The desperate immigrants on the other hand, who come looking for a place to live, find these katchi abadies to be the best solution for them. They are comparatively cheap, and more importantly can be found close to wherever they work and that too without paperwork. At places the encroached houses would be almost cantilevered above the Lyari River, with their foundations sunk deep in the sewage water, but this does not deter someone set on making it work no matter what the circumstances.

The situation instead of getting better has worsened as the government being merely disinterested in addressing the root cause, regularised these settlements, giving more incentive to the land-grabbers. If this regularisation process had just been followed by the provision of sufficient low-income houses as well as a check on rural to urban migration, perhaps it would have been better, but since it was not so, encroachments continued.

Moreover, involvement of political parties like MQM and PPP did not help much either, who instead of finding a true solution wanted to keep the people in the same conditions for either appeasing them to retain their vote banks or to keep them deprived of a better infrastructure and environment.

According to the Orangi Pilot Projects survey, conducted in 2002, the total number of katchi abadies was 539, whereas a news report dated June 27, 2010 claims, “There are around 1,293 spatial settlements, out of which the Sindh Katchi Abadi Authority has regularised only 500, while the remaining are being processed for regularisation.”

As a nation it appears we have a penchant for short term answers. We accept the government’s shortcomings and give it leeway to implement such short sighted solutions. There are several reasons for referring to the regularisation of katchi abadies as short term, foremost being that these katchi abadies are hubs for several illegal activities, starting from smuggling of something as mundane as cloth to drugs and ammunition. The abadies are nurseries for most criminal gangs and activities, since hiding in the criss-crossed lanes is not difficult. Also worth mentioning are the terrorists, who were arrested from several katchi abadies over the past few months, despite that in certain areas even law-enforcement agencies fear to go, or are supposedly scared to go.

Other causes to oppose katchi abadi regularisation include lack of planning and building regulations. Since a lot of the poor settlements are unplanned, often there is no provision for modern vehicles to pass through, which gives rise to the question what would happen in case the government has to provide aid to the local residents. These settlements are bustling with three, four and even six storey buildings, poor construction and bad planning with hardly any space between the lanes for a big car let alone a truck to pass through. In such circumstances even if a fire breaks out, the fire tenders have a tough time reaching the inferno.

With such conditions prevalent, we have a disaster looming round the corner, which may strike us any day. It may look fine and noble at the first glance to regularise the slums, filled with criminal activities, combined with bad planning and bad construction, but in reality and long term it is not so. Hopefully, the government would realise this soon, as well as the supporters of the idea, who consider the word slum should be reserved for the West, as slums are considered physical and morally bankrupt, but our katchi abadies are only physically dilapidated and not socially decrepit. A farsighted approach is needed, and more houses of course.